I have just read Ecky’s blog and she’d assigned me to mention 7 different things about me. I thought: piece a cake, while actually, I must spend like more than 30 minutes to really realize that, surprisingly, this is me! Why seven and not 4 or 9, I don’t know, ask her!

So here’s what she asked:

7 Facts about me:
1. Very serious at work, ‘judes’ & ‘galak” (feisty), because I expect the best out of everyone and myself, but outside office, I’m much more relaxed
2. Blunt, sometimes too blunt, and sometimes I wish I could be more tactical
3. Seem hard & intolerant, but actually very soft, I always cry when see animals being hurt in Animal Planet!
4. Passionate, I can’t hide my feelings, I wish I had a poker face!
5. Good listener and good secret keeper, but if I know harmless gossips, it is MY duty to spread them out to the world with spices added!
6. Observer and like elephant, I never forget
7. Spender, but always choose quality over quantity - and end up broke…

7 Goals:
1. Back to school and get a PhD
2. Back to be a writer, I miss it!
3. Be a lecturer
4. Learn French and start using my German again
5. Make my parents happy by sending them over to Mecca for Haj
6. Have a house which I design and build
7, Travel around the world before get too old

7 Dream Places to Visit - actually would be great if I could live there too:
1. Florence, Tuscany, and all over Italy
2. Spain - especially Guggenheim museum, I think Frank Gehry is brilliant
3. All modern architectural landmarks by Gehry, Zaha Hadid, Eisenman, Meier, (late) Morphosis, Meier, Coop Himmelb(l)au etc.
4. South America: Inca, Aztec, Maya
5. Sydney, I miss the city :((
6. New York, but only if I have enough money to shop there!
7. All best resorts and spas, I like finest things and to be pampered

7 Eating places to go:
1. La Na Thai, dark, romantic, nice food, great mojito
2. Sushi Tei (they should give us member cards!)
3. Cazbar for its lamb chop, thai beef salad, fried mushroom, chocolate brownies cheesecake, great coffee, alcohol, free wi-fi, and waitresses who know you by name!
4. Kudeta in Bali
5. One particular restaurant in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), but I don’t remember what it’s called
6. Anywhere that serves good sambal, grilled fish and great seafood
7. Indochine in Singapore
(I still have C’s in Grand Hyatt and Cassis in Pavilion Apartment!)

7 “Thank Yous’:
1. People who invented internet
2. People who invented mobile phone
3. Myself, I’ve worked hard to be here and be like this! I’m not trying to be cocky…
4. My current boss in L’Oreal who has faith in me and supports me all the way
5. My girlfriends, for good and bad times where they’re always there for me
6. My boyfriend, who’s always funny and positive and can make me laugh and see the brighter side of the world
7. My parents especially my mom, an extraordinary woman who had done more than any woman I know (journalist, writer, TV anchor, etc), who’s been there to support me during my difficult period and always managed to find a laugh about it

7 People who must do this too:
1. Mr. Graham Garven, a.k.a. Mr. Secretive! Must be fun to know your thoughts, GG
2. Jenny
3.Yolanda
4. Max
5. Rocky poki
6.Mercy
7. Adam

There, I finished in 37 minutes!!

No, it’s not an album from Poison, but it’s literally the “O” moment (in Indonesian, when somebody gets confused then finally understands, s/he would say “Oooo”), or “Aah” moment.

Up to date, I never understand why some men choose to be with girls who are totally opposite from them. Not physically, I’m not a discriminative, racist person, but more in a quality kind of way.

Let’s admit that Jakarta is a crazy, strange, city. This is the city where gambling is banned but prostitution is open everywhere. This is the city where raid is conducted at bars and clubs which sell alcohol, while you could buy illegal drugs off of the street stall and having affair is permissible (see Jakarta Undercover book by Moammar Emka). Also, this is the city where we could see a sleazy old Caucasian guy holding hands with Indonesian girl who’s young enough to be his grand daughter (I actually had a friend whose friend - 80 years old - was dating 25 years old girl who was still in uni. Seriously!!).

So is it because Jakarta strange, weird, crazy enough, those Caucasians then date girls who are strange, weird and crazy?

We have a friend who’s been dating this girl, whom he met in a bar. It’s not a sleazy bar in Kota, but it’s not a bar free of KFC either (KFC or chicken or prostitute, honey!). Luckily enough she dresses quite normal and decent, however, she barely can speak English (and the guy couldn’t speak Indonesian at all either). Up until this time, none of us really know what she does (or did) for a living, because after dating for a few months, she’s moved to the boyfriend’s house and is acting as the first lady and is not working, and when asked, she always gives different answer in different times (insurance agent, property broker, etc.). Actually she once advised my friend to start dating a bule (Caucasian) guy because “He’ll pay for everything, and you get to see Bali”. My friend was polite enough just to nod but she couldn’t wait to tell us in no time.

Let’s set aside her past, she is taking care of our friend and the house nicely, she’s not cheating around, she’s polite and proper, but how they communicate to each other, we can never guess. I mean, the guy, a finance director for a multinational company, must come home after work to find…. a mute girlfriend who’s able to serve dinner but can’t listen to his story for the day. Well, maybe they don’t need to talk at all. Maybe they talk in ‘body’ language. I happened to visit them in their house for a couple of time, and each time they never said anything to each other. She’s busy serving us with snacks and drinks, and talking to her Indonesian friends (who barely can speak English either but are very flirty to all guys), and he’s busy being a host, talking to everyone else.

At that particular party on Saturday night, I met another finance director for a large consumer goods company. This French guy, arrived after 9.00 PM, joined us for the late BBQ, where he asked my friend’s girlfriend to leave some steak for his girlfriend because she just finished working and would catch us up soon. Being an nonjudgmental person (haha) I thought she must be working very hard on Saturday (because we finished dinner almost midnight and she hadn’t turned up), so I guess she must be a 1) policewoman, 2) hotel staff, 3) waitress, 4) singer/dancer/movie actress 5) another finance director who’s busy filing a report to regional office (doubt it, even those two finance directors were having BBQ!). When she arrived, she’s not wearing uniform of police squad, or black suits hotel staffs usually wear. So it’s either number 3, 4, or 5. Like my friend’s girlfriend, she barely said anything (maybe too hungry), while the guy was busy talking to everyone else. I actually once asked her “Could you pass the wine, please?” and she just stared at me blankly, and worse, the other girl (the hostess’s friend) who was sitting next to me did the same, so I must stood up and took the bottle myself. Which part of my question they didn’t understand, I have no idea.

My friend who is a real property broker always tells me a story about the guy who is looking for a house to reside, and bringing the girl with him. There was this guy who’d been in Indonesia for two weeks and was looking at houses with a girl, and this girl, confident enough, told my friend that they are looking for a house with many bedrooms because she wants to have 4 kids. Another time the girl complained a lot about the house conditions and told my friend rudely that she wants a ‘modern-minimalist house’, and ‘if you couldn’t show me those kind of houses, why would we waste our time talking to you?’ until my friend harshly told her that with his budget, this is the kind of house he could afford and she should ask him if he would spend USD 5,000 per month rather than 1,500…. she stopped complaining afterward, but my friend suspected it’s more because she couldn’t work out how much USD 5,000 in Indonesian Rupiahs.

Then there’s a story of my friend’s boss. At a very young age, he suddenly died. Divorced with two children who are living in Australia, in Indonesia he’d been living with a girl who is an ex.chicken. He was stupid enough to buy an apartment under her name, but in his will he said that he gave the apartment to his kids. Of course now she refuses to leave the apartment, because legally, that’s her. While the company still continues to pay the operation cost, the maid informed his secretary that the house is used for parties every single night, and is fulled with… well, women. What did this guy think at the first place?? He’s smart enough to be a CEO, but dumb enough to pick up a girl like that. PS: rumor said she’s seeing two other guys as well while was living with him.

With those above stories I have seen and heard almost everyday, I couldn’t help but wonder, if guys go back to their home countries, bringing girlfriends who are 1) slutty enough to be able to pull a slutty dress off in a broad daylight 2) smart enough only to nod or smile or say thank you 3) young enough to be their daughters or worse, grand daughter, or 4) simply has no manner, wouldn’t their family and friends say “Are you nuts?”

People say opposites attract. I say if it’s only physical, I still can understand. But I believe that a couple should be partners and free individual at the same time. At least a couple should be able to understand their partner’s thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears, goals, etc, and how could we do this without… talking? Or is it enough for guys just to have a wife or girlfriend who could serve at dinner table and in bed, and nothing else matters?

So until I get the answer about this, I wouldn’t be able to open up and say: “Aaah…. begitu!”

Guys, if you have answers, please let me know!

PS: I know I’m being bitchy here, but I feel itchy!!

Other than in our own bedrooms, the place that we could reveal the truth and reality is in the toilet. Only by how people take lines and turns, I can see whether they’re polite or rude (I was once having an argument with a very high-class lookalike lady who insisted she could go in first because her little daughter must go and so must she - well, everybody was always in a hurry, right?). If they rush to wash their hands even when I’m still standing before the wash basin and re-applying my make-up, I know that they’re not necessarily impolite, but just don’t really understand the concept of ‘private space’ (Asians tend to have smaller private space, so we usually talk and stand very closely to each other - just look how people queue everywhere here, while Westerners usually have larger private spaces).

But the conversations carried on in the rest room can actually reveal so much about ourselves. I don’t know why people think public toilet is actually a private room, while it’s full of strangers who can hear whatever you say and do.

There was one lady wearing a one-piece, glittery gray, with a very low neckline, dress who was washing her hands next to an African lady. I glanced at them briefly before entering cubicle, and once I was in, I can hear this glittery lady told the African one, with a very loud voice, about her bag hunting prior to the party. Here it is:

“I spent 7 hours, you know, to find a bag and shoes, with my man, for this party!”.
(Her African counterpart mumbled something).

“You know if you want to find a good bag, you go to plaza Indonesia”.

“Oh yeah? Did you buy your bag there?”

“No. But I saw a very good silver bag there, but it’s expensive!! Twenty millions and five hundreds!!”
“How much is that in US dollars?”

“Oh, uh, twenty thousands. No, twenty five thousands dollars. Yes, yes. Very expensive.”
“Really???? USD 25,000 for a bag? Which shop is that?”

“Oh, it’s in Plaza Indonesia. The shop is Rotella! Yes, yes. But I didn’t buy it. I was looking for something else. I couldn’t find it in Plaza Indonesia, so I went to another mall, Ambassador mall, and then to Plaza Semanggi. But I was unlucky, I didn’t find a nice bag.”

I went out, and stood next to this loud lady and couldn’t conceal my smile. What’s funny from this conversation? Well, first, 20,000,000 rupiahs is not USD 25,000, the girl put too many zeros on the actual conversion, because it should be USD 2,200. It’s either she never has USD before, or just is plan incapable doing the maths. Secondly, she mentioned the shop: Rotella. There is a shop called Rotelli, which is a shoe shop and sells bags as well, but I’m sure they don’t sell USD2,200 bag, and Rotelli only has a small section in Sogo Dept.Store, not its own boutique in PI. And the third, which made me smile, is that she was looking for a bag in Ambassador mall and Plaza Semanggi. Those two are not in the same market as Plaza Indonesia. Plaza Indonesia is one of the most prestigious, upmarket, shopping mall. While the other two, are absolutely not. So I don’t know how she could position those three in the same basket and would like to get a USD 2,200 bag in Ambassador mall - which sells computers more and has no upmarket boutique there.

But my story was beaten by Tamara’s. She came back from the toilet, laughing. She overheard one lady mentioned to her friend, that she lives in two apartments, one in Puri Casablanca, and the other one is in Aston Rasuna. What made Tamara and all of us laughed was when the friend asked why does this lady need 2 apartments, and she answered, very casually, “because I have two boyfriends, so I split time between those two apartments.” Does one know about the other guy? One does, while the other doesn’t. Oh my, she must be in a very fit physical condition, having two ‘responsibilities’!

Another time I was re-applying my make up when these two girls with skimpy outfits doing the same thing. Suddenly, one shouted at her friend, “Are you crazy?? Are you stupid??”. I moved inches away from them, hoping they wouldn’t start boxing match. And from the mirror I saw her friend, getting annoyed, stopped applying her mascara, yelled back, “What?? What do you mean?”

And the rude lady, spraying a perfume on her cleavage, saying it out loud, “Why are you wearing your top so high? Take it down! You should show your boobs. You won’t get any man by wearing that, you know!”

But there was the time when it got too much, like when I entered the rest room in Grand Hyatt. Two ladies were holding one girl on shoulders and back, one was patting, one was caressing. This girl was crying, her voice could be heard before I entered the rest room, and she cried and cursed and yelled while her friends hopelessly tried to console her. I was startled because this very beautiful lady was dancing like crazy in Burgundy a few moments before. And now her mascara smeared on all over her eyes and face. “Whhhhhyyyy??? Huhhuhuhu….I’m tired!! I can’t take this anymore! He’s bastard! Whhhhyyyy???? Huhuhuhuhuhu….”

I looked at the friends through the mirror and they smiled uncomfortably to me.

Now guys always wonder why girls always go to toilet together. Here’s the answers: 1) We need to re-apply our make-up, and in case our friends bring nicer lipsticks, we could swap. 2) We are simply scared meeting those ladies who reveal too much!!