Just blogwalking, and stumbled on to this very interesting post.

I realized this phenomenon when I first moved to Sheffield, UK but it wasn’t very obvious since there weren’t too many Indonesians there. London, however, was a different case! My short-stint in Singapore, and current Australian experience (two countries with a large number of Indonesians) supports your observation that Indonesians tend to cluster together!

I have been brought up (mostly) outside of Indonesia, so I learnt quite early on to recognize people beyond their nationality. I make friends based on how well I get on with them, and not their race/passport. I don’t consciously look for Indonesian friends, nor do I avoid having Indonesian friends. ‘Sides, they usually dub me “the fake Indonesian” after a while so there goes the (supposedly) common base of being Indonesian.

I do find that *sometimes* I feel more comfortable with my international friends because we recognize our differences and do explain something that is culture-specific. With *some* Indonesians, I feel a bit disadvantaged and left out because, maybe, I am not as Indonesian as them and they fail to recognize that. In some occassions, I’m unsure of what to say/do because they expect me to be familiar with Indonesian code of conduct/mannerism. With my international friends, we can overlook each other’s unintended slights due to cultural differences. But I find that, with *some* Indonesians, they take offense if I misconduct myself (as according to Indonesian norms that I forget/am not aware of) even though oft they overlook, and forgive, similar mistakes done by “bule”s or other foreigners.

And since I am a university student myself, I often hang out with my classmates than the people from the embassy or whatever but I do notice that most Asians stick together (even in my campus – where most Chinese always go everywhere together – I start to wonder whether they go to toilet in packs also?).

Most of my cousins joined PPI when they were still in college, they’ve admitted that (hanging out with fellow Indonesians) isn’t merely personally-driven, but it’s also what’s expected from them.

Then I realised that it’s also important to have at least some Indonesian friends. Often times I felt so lonely during Ramadhan coz most of my friends were not moslems (this is only one of the examples… ). So I started to socialise with Indonesians, though I wasn’t very close to them… I often felt “safer” to be close to Indonesians who already have family/children… perhaps, less gossips?

anyway thanks for bringing this topic up!

I remember during my high school years there were plenty of Indonesian students and they were always together even during classes and lunchtimes, and to make it even worse, they often spoke Bahasa in such loud voices, it made me feel embarrassed for them!

Moreover I was declined to hang out with them and choose to find my own cliques, thus making me labelled as ‘snob’ by some Indo students.

But what was funny was the fact that those students were the one having problems with English because overseas or not, they were still speaking the same language!

What a waste of their parents money

Though I never forget what mine always reminded me time and time again: “Take only the best out of both cultures.”

Personally, since in my high school in S’pre, not too many fellow indonesians but 90% is Singaporean. Till now, I am glad that I mixed and tried to learn other country culture not just Singaporean, they are Thai, Aussie, American, British.

Even as Indonesian chinese, I notice they are many of them still prefer to hang out and feel closer only with chinese. Nit, honestly I think you have more indonesian chinese friends compare to me hehehehe. Good topic by the way.

But now, as the only Indonesian student and one of three Indonesian living in Tromso, i must say i am happy. I am closer to the North Norwegian mentality and this is why i am abroad, to learn the culture and mentality, then get the positive impact out of it.

One other thing that makes me happy is because-sorry-but; Indonesian talks. Though we are a country of 230 million people, it’s so easy for fellows in Jakarta to find out about one specific person in Holland, California or Bali-for example. Because we talk, gossips and spread the news so quickly.

Sometimes, i cant stand this. I love my country and meeting Indonesian in some occasions abroad is so much fun, really. Many of them are amazingly great people. But i guess, that’s also because i don’t meet all bunch of them every day here.

I hope i don’t make my self sounds so arrogant. But that’s just my honest feelings.

Indonesians are very family-oriented in terms of social gatherings, like, for acara natalan, lebaranan, etc. And a group of fellow Indonesians is the closest thing to a biological family.

The intellectual need to explore and roam one culture after the next is always a quality –eventhough a good one– that is more applicable in terms of education or career. But socially, we tend to head homewards. IMHO.