I have encountered a bizarre moment this week. Suddenly someone I barely know cowardly sent a private message to friends of mine, saying how embarrassed she would be if she doesn’t work and yet keep spending her husband’s money. A friend alerted me and pointed the fact I posted a good news a mere minutes beforehand, that my girlfriends and I, on our June’s trip, might be able to get a descent price for 5 star hotel in Bath.
I honestly have no idea what this person has against me. I was never nasty towards her, even after more and more people get fed up and offended by her sharp tongue (well, fingers in this case), sneering remarks, and rude comments all over the network. Everybody seems to make a collective opinion that this person is so bitter, everything and everyone can be her target on a daily basis, from her adopted country’s government system, the cheap website which failed to commit the delivery time for her order, the postman, the weather, the daylight saving, the sun, even her own boyfriend and his family (she publicly told the world how she hates her boyfriend’s brother who was a drunk and lazy man. Her words, not mine). She also likes telling bad things about one person to another and vice versa as we have found out over the months. Once she was badmouthing her blog’s loyal reader, because the reader posted a thread about her problem with her spouse and his family. We didn’t even know this person, but it didn’t stop my bizarre virtual attacker (BVA) to keep talking about her, saying how could this girl talk about her spouse like that in her blog, not realising she also did the same thing! Because of her constant negativity, most of us don’t visit her blog anymore, except probably me, as I actually tried to be neutral as long as she didn’t personally attack me.
But I heard a week ago that this person actually lashed out at one of my best friends (she accused her being married to a foreigner for his money because according to her standard he is ugly. Talking about good-looking standard, I think she has to see her own reflection). Even though she doesn’t know her, what she does for a living, who her family is, and never explained why on earth she was creepily staring at my friend’s pictures in the first place, doesn’t stop her acid mouth. Upon receiving the information I got really upset, but again there was nothing I could do since this information didn’t come directly to me or about me.
Then I heard from my friend about her last remarks. I reacted spontaneously. For all I know I was probably one of the few people who still commented on her threads, sometimes cheekily, but most of the times nicely. So why she chose me as her target, and chose that particular day to launch a vendetta against me, is still a mystery.
Of course then later she said she wasn’t talking about me even though all evidence point towards it, especially because 1) she published such remarks privately to my friends. If it wasn’t about me, what’s with the secrecy?; 2) she sent it right after reading my thread about the 5-star hotel; and 3) she knew what I was talking about when I cheekily posted a reaction on the board saying that she wanted to be me but couldn’t and went maaaad.
But the more I think about it, the more I believe that my cheeky comment was right. The fact that she had commented on my several threads about how she couldn’t afford the stuff on net-a-porter, or how difficult her life is in her adopted country which, according to her, is extremely expensive that to get a new peeler is a highlight of the week, and how jealous she was towards a personal shopper who buys Jimmy Choos and the likes in London, Paris, and Milan, for Indonesian rich ladies, indicates how she wished she could be in such position but couldn’t, and reading my thread about how excited I am to be able to stay in a nice hotel is too much (although any sane person knows that I couldn’t possibly do this on a daily basis! I am not Paris Hilton, after all).
She tried to justify her hatred about people who buy expensive stuff, that she doesn’t care about all those things, that branded items aren’t her thing, that she could look good in a fake brand, supposedly nasty pirated copies sold in Jakarta market. I, of course agree, with her first two opinions, that you don’t need expensive stuff to look and feel good. But if you could afford it, why not? It’s each individual’s preference, not to mention money, so why care whether I wear Prada and she doesn’t? And more importantly, why is she mad at me because I bought an expensive bag or pair of shoes or whatever? Behind each brand there is a massive industry which supports it, and I really appreciate the time and effort every designer put on their creation. I am a designer myself, I know how hard it is to turn nothing into a something, and make people like it, believe in it, and pay for it! Mentioning the brand is the biggest appreciation a designer could get. I’ve stopped buying fake items a long time a go after finding out how the pirated industry pays underage children to be their slaves working in their factories without proper condition and insurance. But of course, this probably doesn’t concern my BVA as she doesn’t have conscience. Plus her thread about branded items didn’t look sincere after throwing big time jealousy towards people who could afford them here and there.
It made me realise that all the nastiness are because she is bitter towards her life. It is not about me at all. It is just because she sees me as someone she wants to be but cannot.
Of course when she accused me for not working, she skipped the fact that I had worked in a multinational company back in Jakarta as a department head, lead a billions of rupiahs worth of a project as a part of the company’s Asia new approach, and 5 years before that I was a project manager, leading loads of fit-out projects for international clients, building their offices and branches all over Java. She also skipped the fact that I chose to leave my career to be with my husband in a new country, a decision mutually agreed by both of us as no relationship works if the couple is separated by thousand of miles distance. And since when we are guilty to leave work for something bigger and better in life?
And this bizarre virtual attack comes from someone who doesn’t even work, who chose this particular country to pursue her study just to be with her boyfriend (Funny that she actually did the same thing yet accusing me like I committed a crime. I wonder why she didn’t accuse Santi as well?). And even after graduated from local university she still couldn’t get a job. For a while I thought she had a great career before she moved out of Indonesia as she constantly boasted that she worked for some newspaper, leaving an impression that she was famous and needed to keep her identity private. But later I found out she had just worked there for 3 years (and proudly stated that she had worked for 3-year- and-5-months, just like a toddler proudly telling people that he is 3-years-old-and-a-half!), and of course we know what people normally will have achieved after working for only 3 years.
The most important thing is, all of this is none of her business at all. Whether why I decide to leave work and when I want to go back to work has nothing to do with her at all. How and on what I spend my or my husband‘s money shouldn’t be bothering her. I never care about her personal life, I even only went to her facebook once, but she seems to have an unhealthy obsession towards me, keeps commenting on my new pictures and leaving messages on my wall and now suddenly goes against me because what I purchase or where I am going to stay for holiday. Odd!
She didn’t even stop it there, she kept sending private messages to one of my best friends and other several friends who had no idea what she was talking about, but all made sense because she kept picking things up from my conversation with others that she saw around the network.
What puzzled me the most was why in God’s name she attacked me that day out of nowhere for no reason. My best guess is she was embarrassed after the world found out she didn’t know the difference between butter and margarine. I honestly was interested in her remarks about how crazy she was about her local butter, so I excitedly asked the details and wonder whether they’re tastier than the famous Australian or New Zealand’s dairy products. But soon enough I found out she wasn’t talking about butter, but margarine, which I pointed nicely to her, and on her defense both are called the same in her local lingo. I know for some readers, this looks odd to be a reason for her going ballistic like that, but I couldn’t think of anything else. The butter vs. margarine incident probably smashed her imagination about herself, as for so long she always thought she is smarter than everybody else but turns out she doesn’t even know about a simple thing in daily life. Maybe. Seriously I don’t know, I’m just as confused as everybody else!
Upon this bizarre incident, she cowardly removed herself not just from my contact list but also my friends’, but then chose to publish a note about me privately on her facebook, comfortably leaving so many facts and twisting the truth. I couldn’t care less since we don’t hang out in the same circle, and we never meet in person. It is weird that she then still tried to cover up her action by saying she has removed herself from my contact list for a while but I just found it now, which is a big fat lie as she just left a comment on my wall a few days a go. I then went to her blog to check if she had replied my last comment about her confused body clock, only to find out she also has removed me from her blogroll. I have no choice but to do the same.
I have had no intention to publish this as this is confusing to me, and I bet it is even more confusing to readers. But I got a tip-off she just published a new thread in her blog, a tribute to me, so she apparently doesn’t stop just yet. She seems to desperately look for a target every day and this time it is my turn. She might be looking for attention which she hardly gets because less and less people leave comments on her threads so perhaps she needs to do something spectacular. Normal person would start wondering why people are fed up with her and turn their backs on her, but this person thinks it is the whole world is wrong, not her, so she also blames my friends (whom she thinks are her friends) to take my side, not hers.
At least I respected the person who did the similar thing to me last year as she had the nerve to face me and tell me she was pissed off. But this particular person hides behind sniggers, sneers, and metaphors I start wondering about her mental health. And it is still a wonder what the trigger was.
It will remain a good mystery, I guess.
The price you have to pay when you’re fabulous, popular, smart, beautiful, and rich. Haha!
Anyway, as mr.mck always says, this is not important. This isn’t real, we don’t know each other, so why wasting our energy to be mad at something that doesn’t even affect our peeing time?
Note: the picture is a courtesy of this.