Bizarre Virtual Attack

I have encountered a bizarre moment this week. Suddenly someone I barely know cowardly sent a private message to  friends of mine, saying how embarrassed she would be if she doesn’t work and yet keep spending her husband’s money. A friend alerted me and pointed the fact I posted a good news a mere minutes beforehand, that my girlfriends and I, on our June’s trip, might be able to get a descent price for 5 star hotel in Bath.

I honestly have no idea what this person has against me. I was never nasty towards her, even after more and more people get fed up and offended by her sharp tongue (well, fingers in this case), sneering remarks, and rude comments all over the network. Everybody seems to make a collective opinion that this person is so bitter, everything and everyone can be her target on a daily basis, from her adopted country’s government system, the cheap website which failed to commit the delivery time for her order, the postman, the weather, the daylight saving, the sun, even her own boyfriend and his family (she publicly told the world how she hates her boyfriend’s brother who was a drunk and lazy man. Her words, not mine).  She also likes telling bad things about one person to another and vice versa as we have found out over the months. Once she was badmouthing her blog’s loyal reader, because the reader posted a thread about her problem with her spouse and his family. We didn’t even know this person, but it didn’t stop my bizarre virtual attacker (BVA) to keep talking about her, saying how could this girl talk about her spouse like that in her blog, not realising she also did the same thing! Because of her constant negativity, most of us don’t visit her blog anymore, except probably me, as I actually tried to be neutral as long as she didn’t personally attack me.

But I heard a week ago that this person actually lashed out at one of my best friends (she accused her being married to a foreigner for his money because according to her standard he is ugly. Talking about good-looking standard, I think she has to see her own reflection). Even though she doesn’t know her, what she does for a living, who her family is, and never explained why on earth she was creepily staring at my friend’s pictures in the first place, doesn’t stop her acid mouth. Upon receiving the information I got really upset, but again there was nothing I could do since this information didn’t come directly to me or about me.

Then I heard from my friend about her last remarks. I reacted spontaneously. For all I know I was probably one of the few people who still commented on her threads, sometimes cheekily, but most of the times nicely. So why she chose me as her target, and chose that particular day to launch a vendetta against me, is still a mystery.

Of course then later she said she wasn’t talking about me even though all evidence point towards it, especially because 1) she published such remarks privately to my friends. If it wasn’t about me, what’s with the secrecy?; 2) she sent it right after reading my thread about the 5-star hotel; and 3) she knew what I was talking about when I cheekily posted a reaction on the board saying that she wanted to be me but couldn’t and went maaaad.

But the more I think about it, the more I believe that my cheeky comment was right. The fact that she had commented on my several threads about how she couldn’t afford the stuff on net-a-porter, or how difficult her life is in her adopted country which, according to her, is extremely expensive that to get a new peeler is a highlight of the week, and how jealous she was towards a personal shopper who buys Jimmy Choos and the likes in London, Paris, and Milan, for Indonesian rich ladies, indicates how she wished she could be in such position but couldn’t, and reading my thread about how excited I am to be able to stay in a nice hotel is too much (although any sane person knows that I couldn’t possibly do this on a daily basis! I am not Paris Hilton, after all).

She tried to justify her hatred about people who buy expensive stuff, that she doesn’t care about all those things, that branded items aren’t her thing, that she could look good in a fake brand, supposedly nasty pirated copies sold in Jakarta market. I, of course agree, with her first two opinions, that you don’t need expensive stuff to look and feel good. But if you could afford it, why not? It’s each individual’s preference, not to mention money, so why care whether I wear Prada and she doesn’t? And more importantly, why is she mad at me because I bought an expensive bag or pair of shoes or whatever? Behind each brand there is a massive industry which supports it, and I really appreciate the time and effort every designer put on their creation. I am a designer myself, I know how hard it is to turn nothing into a something, and make people like it, believe in it, and pay for it! Mentioning the brand is the biggest appreciation a designer could get. I’ve stopped buying fake items a long time a go after finding out how the pirated industry pays underage children to be their slaves working in their factories without proper condition and insurance. But of course, this probably doesn’t concern my BVA as she doesn’t have conscience. Plus her thread about branded items didn’t look sincere after throwing big time jealousy towards people who could afford them here and there.

It made me realise that all the nastiness are because she is bitter towards her life. It is not about me at all. It is just because she sees me as someone she wants to be but cannot.

Of course when she accused me for not working, she skipped the fact that I had worked in a multinational company back in Jakarta as a department head, lead a billions of rupiahs worth of a project as a part of the company’s Asia new approach, and 5 years before that I was a project manager, leading loads of fit-out projects for international clients, building their offices and branches all over Java. She also skipped the fact that I chose to leave my career to be with my husband in a new country, a decision mutually agreed by both of us as no relationship works if the couple is separated by thousand of miles distance.  And since when we are guilty to leave work for something bigger and better in life?

And this bizarre virtual attack comes from someone who doesn’t even work, who chose this particular country to pursue her study just to be with her boyfriend (Funny that she actually did the same thing yet accusing me like I committed a crime. I wonder why she didn’t accuse Santi as well?). And even after graduated from local university she still couldn’t get a job. For a while I thought she had a great career before she moved out of Indonesia as she constantly boasted that she worked for some newspaper, leaving an impression that she was famous and needed to keep her identity private. But later I found out she had just worked there for 3 years (and proudly stated that she had worked for 3-year- and-5-months, just like a toddler proudly telling people that he is 3-years-old-and-a-half!), and of course we know what people normally will have achieved after working for only 3 years.

The most important thing is, all of this is none of her business at all. Whether why I decide to leave work and when I want to go back to work has nothing to do with her at all. How and on what I spend my or my husband‘s money shouldn’t be bothering her. I never care about her personal life, I even only went to her facebook once, but she seems to have an unhealthy obsession towards me, keeps commenting on my new pictures and leaving messages on my wall and now suddenly goes against me because what I purchase or where I am going to stay for holiday. Odd!

She didn’t even stop it there, she kept sending private messages to one of my best friends and other several friends who had no idea what she was talking about, but all made sense because she kept picking things up from my conversation with others that she saw around the network.

What puzzled me the most was why in God’s name she attacked me that day out of nowhere for no reason. My best guess is she was embarrassed after the world found out she didn’t know the difference between butter and margarine. I honestly was interested in her remarks about how crazy she was about her local butter, so I excitedly asked the details and wonder whether they’re tastier than the famous Australian or New Zealand’s dairy products. But soon enough I found out she wasn’t talking about butter, but margarine, which I pointed nicely to her, and on her defense both are called the same in her local lingo. I know for some readers, this looks odd to be a reason for her going ballistic like that, but I couldn’t think of anything else. The butter vs. margarine incident probably smashed her imagination about herself, as for so long she always thought she is smarter than everybody else but turns out she doesn’t even know about a simple thing in daily life. Maybe. Seriously I don’t know, I’m just as confused as everybody else!

Upon this bizarre incident, she cowardly removed herself not just from my contact list but also my friends’, but then chose to publish a note about me privately on her facebook, comfortably leaving so many facts and twisting the truth. I couldn’t care less since we don’t hang out in the same circle, and we never meet in person. It is weird that she then still tried to cover up her action by saying she has removed herself from my contact list for a while but I just found it now, which is a big fat lie as she just left a comment on my wall a few days a go. I then went to her blog to check if she had replied my last comment about her confused body clock, only to find out she also has removed me from her blogroll. I have no choice but to do the same.

I have had no intention to publish this as this is confusing to me, and I bet it is even more confusing to readers. But I got a tip-off she just published a new thread in her blog, a tribute to me, so she apparently doesn’t stop just yet. She seems to desperately look for a target every day and this time it is my turn. She might be looking for attention which she hardly gets because less and less people leave comments on her threads so perhaps she needs to do something spectacular. Normal person would start wondering why people are fed up with her and turn their backs on her, but this person thinks it is the whole world is wrong, not her, so she also blames my friends (whom she thinks are her friends) to take my side, not hers.

At least I respected the person who did the similar thing to me last year as she had the nerve to face me and tell me she was pissed off. But this particular person hides behind sniggers, sneers, and metaphors I start wondering about her mental health. And it is still a wonder what the trigger was.

It will remain a good mystery, I guess.

The price you have to pay when you’re fabulous, popular, smart, beautiful, and rich. Haha!

Anyway, as mr.mck always says, this is not important. This isn’t real, we don’t know each other, so why wasting our energy to be mad at something that doesn’t even affect our peeing time?

Note: the picture is a courtesy of this.


  1. “It made me realise that all the nastiness are because she is bitter towards her life.”
    Pretty sure you hit the mark there.
    There aren’t all that many different kinds of folks even in a world of six billion
    Some bitterly strike out at others.
    Some do all they can to help others.
    How much money one has or how they spend it is of no concern.

    You seem like a person who helps those she can, and for that, I would be your friend.
    As for the bitter one?
    I, too, have a bitter person who seems to feel that it is proper to strike out at me whenever he can
    And the funny part?
    I made only $350 last year while he easily makes that much every two days.
    Money is nothing!
    Being true is EVERYTHING!
    That’s what makes a ‘True Blue Friend’, yes?
    (and, holy cats! Did you see the blue at Therry’s?! WOW!)

    bonemans last blog post..WHAT is BEAUTY?

  2. Hey nit.. you needn’t worry. We know who started it, at least I do, and I know it wasn’t you. I’ve been telling you guys since months ago that this person is a bitter person most likely because she is unhappy in life, which she clearly show from some of her blog post. I can understand when somebody is depressed or sad and becomes defensive, and I would help them if they let me. But when a depressed person becomes offensive and starts to nag and just continues to be negative about every single thing that she sees or experiences and I have to bear witness to it too, that just pisses me off cos negativity rubs off on people and I for one, do not need it.
    When she went berserk and rallied against you, talking about you behind your back and badmouths you, that just shows how bad her character really is. Such a shame cos this girl isn’t stupid, if she were, I probably won’t pay attention so much.
    The funny thing is, I was the first one she seemed to ‘erase’ from her blog/fb/plurk (probably because I called out her negativity which was annoying) but lucky me, she went berserk on you! lol
    but seriously, just ignore her and people like her. Dont let naggers and jealous pity people ruin it for you. Enjoy life as you should and keep infecting people with your positive attitude and laissez faire. :)

    rima fauzis last blog post..Only in Brussels: The ‘dog’ that almost made me hit a brand new Jaguar

  3. When you see a negative, hateful and mean-spirited, tend-to-go-berserk kind of person, there is no other way than to get rid of that person from your life. That’s what I did to that person, because I was fed up of:

    1. Her negative comments about everything – her life, the weather, her boyfriend, the mailman, her friends, her birds (well, now I guess she is officially the crazy lady with the birds).

    2. Her ways of BADMOUTHING people she DIDN’T even know PERSONALLY. I noticed that this habit of hers had become more frequent and much more intense – up to a point where she posted something on about some couple’s new born baby who she thought was fugly and she dared to share the picture to the whole world. What did that baby have against her? Nothing. Babies can’t speak, let alone defend themselves when being badmouthed by a 30-year old miserable woman who should’ve picked a fight with people of her own age.

    3. Her ways of BADMOUTHING her OWN FRIENDS. Doesn’t this make you shudder? If she did that on a regular basis, can you imagine what she’d say about you behind your backs?

    4. Her ways of BADMOUTHING MY FRIENDS. Yes, she sent a private message to me saying that my friend was slow in thinking. What did my friend have against this woman? Nothing. But yet… she managed to badmouth someone whom she didn’t even know that well.

    5. Her mental, up-to-a-point-where-it-become-obsessive ways of stalking a stranger’s blog, mostly teenagers who were still learning how to write in English, and the fact that she, AGAIN, badmouthed this stranger saying how this teenager’s writing sucked and as if that wasn’t enough, she wanted to tell the whole world to gang up and badmouth this poor teenager as well. For God’s sake woman, if you want to criticise someone’s writing, criticise someone from your own age, with the same level of writing, instead of a teenager who was CLEARLY still finding her true identity. Shit, when I was a teenager I couldn’t even speak English!

    6. Her self-proclaimed pride in calling herself THE writer. Who the hell does that? you don’t get a title just because you claim it yourself. A Diva isn’t called a Diva because she claims herself as one. You need to earn it, not just claim it and yet has no actual proof that you are indeed one. And working in Jakarta Post for 3 years but yet blogs with too many “LOLs” and *grins*” doesn’t really make you sound like you are indeed, THE writer, does it? Even those who write to JP regularly don’t get all too proud and claiming here and there, saying they are THE writer, so why should this woman?

    7. Her instant jealousy to those who are more fortunate than her. As you can see from Anita’s post above, I have no idea what this woman has against her. Maybe this woman was pissed off because Anita had caught her not knowing the difference between butter and margarine (and yet she still defended herself by saying that in the country where she was staying, butter and margarine had the same name. Yep, right. Whatever you say, madam writer.)

    8. Her COMPLAINS. I can’t stand complainers. No one can. And this woman complain. A LOT. If there was someone who should complain about pretty much everything in her life, that someone should be me – I was unemployed, I was barely surviving with the money that I got from my freelance job, the Election in Indonesia was driving me nuts, and watching local televisions just made me feel all depressed. But rest assured I didn’t complain every hour on the hour about my life as much as she did. I was depressed yes, but I kept trying to get better. What did this woman do? Nothing. She just sat there and blame the world for not being good to her. She blamed pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE except herself.

    So, I hope when she reads this, she will do a little self-searching, because soon enough, the remaining friends she has will be fed up with her as well, and she will have no one left except her pathetic, pushover-lover boyfriend and her birds.

    therrys last blog post..My Dream Destination

  4. Boneman: you hit the right spot again. Yes, money isn’t everything but being true is. I guess she envies me for a long time as she had been telling me how she couldn’t afford things I usually buy, but holds to the fact that she at least is smart, only to find out that she isn’t. That she was wrong all along. And she couldn’t bear the fact that it was me who pointed it at her.

    Rima: You can be scary sometimes, you know! You have such a wonderful radar to detect abnormal people. I will listen to you the next time, I was so gullible sometimes! I agree that negativity can rub you on, so I am glad that she has removed herself from my list so I don’t have to read her constant nag and complaints about the sun, memory card, or whatever.

    Therry: Gosh, I have forgotten about the ugly baby thing until you mentioned again here. Yes, that’s another example of her nasty remarks towards others. Telling that her friend’s baby ugly is nasty enough, posting it to have us said yes, is another level of nastiness. If she could do this to someone who can’t even walk, talk and defend himself, no wonder she comfortably said things like that about me, you, or God knows who else.

  5. from your story, I think she’s just jealous.

    boys last blog post..Vintage Indonesian Songs

  6. I was wondering. Is she the same person we were talking about in the 1st land coffee? 😛

    Devi Girsangs last blog post..In The Bus, Part 1

  7. Boy: yes, I and everyone thought so. But it doesn’t explain her unnecessary vicious attacks on me….

    Devi: nope, this is a different one. Similar though 😛

  8. Waaaaa…ketinggalan berita nih! :)

    Elyanis last blog post..Snapshots from Port Alberni

  9. Hi, this is my second visit to your blog-I’ve subscribed to your blog! Yay!
    I love reading this particular post-maybe because it reminds me how cynical I am towards life, how bitter I am as a person although I never bitch unimportant matters like her or post any private matters on my blog. I usually write fictions. So this post is like a wake up call for me to stop bitching around towards life, and embrace it the way it is. So thank you so much. 😀

    Oh, and how was Bath? I’m curious because Jane Austen kept mentioning them. And I heard there’s even a Jane Austen festival there, where the people dress like Austen’s character.

  10. Sadithya: oh I’m no better than you, I tend to complain over small things but I’m lucky I’m surrounded by family and friends who keep my feet on the ground. If I might add though, this person moans on daily basis about everything, and after a while, it’s unappetizing.

    Regarding Bath, I highly recommend this place. It’s small, exceptionally beautiful, a wee bit expensive, posh, and oh, did I mention beautiful? The city has Jane Austen Centre (like a little museum), and provides Jane Austen tour as well. I have been there for a few times and always would like to go back again!


  1. […] about true colour, I accidentally found out more about a blogger who launched a bizarre virtual attack on me a while a go and it came from someone who actually knew her in the real world, not just virtually, which in […]

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