I came across this article the other day, and saw that the post got 239 comments. The author and the main contributor of the blog, remains anonymous so I wouldn’t know whether it’s a guy or a lady. A lady named Parvita left a lengthy comment and I guess that was when everybody started the subject of discussion: an expatriate (by expatriate I think she meant a Caucasian) guy vs. Indonesian girl.
I don’t understand why this became a topic anyway? It’s a preference that people make, like I like orange more than grape, or I prefer Frank Gehry rather than Norman Foster. Some people prefer to like Caucasians, some only choose Asians, etc. It’s a taste. You can’t tell people what or who to like or dislike.
But then throw some spices on the relationship between Caucasian and Indonesian, namely money, and this becomes a horrendous subject. Like what Indonesian girls do are so taboo and so sophisticated no other ethnic groups do that. So what if one side has money and is ready to throw it to anything that is covered with skirt, and the other side is ready to surrender for whatever it takes as long as their taxi ride and meal are paid. If you want to say that both sides are stupid, that’s ok. But that’s the choice that they deliberately make, and both know the consequences. It doesn’t matter whether we are Caucasians, Asians, Africans, etc. Why make such a fuss because there are people from different genders date (or have sex)?
Is it bad because of money involved? Then what would they say about this millionaire dating site? It’s specifically dedicated to people who are looking for dates who earns at least a million (I assume in US Dollar currency). Some people are so certain about the criteria of their partner(s) and they are not ashamed of drawing a borderline between what they want and what they actually could tolerate. Some can go as far whether she would date a baldie or not, or whether she would date a guy shorter than Tom Cruise or not. But some are very précised and know what they really, really want, including how much money their partner’s minimum earnings.
And how about an Indonesian girl who’s looking for (or dating for) money with Indonesian guy? My old post Upgraded Girls already talked about this subject. It’s everywhere too, except that it’s probably unseen because hey, we have the same skin colour and oh, probably because Indonesians are much more discreet because they have to save face, they can’t do what the Caucasian obnoxiously do, so they’d rather go behind the curtains (of karaoke bars probably) with loads of girls serving while they’re singing. How many of you have a friend or know someone who is a mistress of an Indonesian guy? I encountered one, and she’s having a good time, because she could treat a bunch of friends to stay in private villas in Bali (two villas at one visit, each costs close to USD 200 per day, with its own swimming pool, butler, and breakfast served at the spot), complete with cars and drivers, got the best table in clubs, before jetted off to Singapore for shopping trip the next month. Don’t tell me she’s being a mistress for love! I’ve got lots of stories similar to this, and usually the Indonesian girls are not poor, they’re just greedy and want to keep up with the latest handbag trends.
But again, it’s about choice. It’s like choosing job, or house, or clothes. If the (Indonesian) girls look for easy ways and choose to have fun for free, so beat it. I’m sure behind everybody’s back they tell their friends how stupid the bule guy spending so much money buying them expensive watch and paying for their mobile phone bills just for 20 minutes time (probably less) of their life. And the buy guy will brag to his friends how he scored 2 girls in one night for cheap price.
What I don’t understand, and this seems like a virus across Jakarta, is then if the casual dating becomes a relationship. My article Open Up and Say… Aaahhh! expressed how confused I was to see my Caucasian friends (who are smart, descent, have good jobs, and not like Parvita claimed cannot compete in their own countries. See, some Caucasians do look for serious relationships) choose to have a girlfriend or are married to Indonesian girls who, I must say here, are not equal to them? I’m not talking about money here. I’m talking about other other essence: educations. language, and cultural understandings. I point out education here because I couldn’t imagine my friend, a guy who is a finance director of a multinational company, comes home to a girl who doesn’t even speak English. What would he share with her about what happened to him during the day? Would she listen when he tells her about the conference call with head office?
Then what happen to the rest of smart, descent, Indonesian girls who happen to date or are married to Caucasians? They’re from educated, well off family, have their own jobs (mostly very good ones in multinational companies), and can afford whatever the guys would offer, whether they’re Caucasians or Indonesians. But they demand to be treated well. Because they damn right know that they are entitled to it and ask for no less. Hmm…. another label to make up.
I guess regardless of our skin colour, we could end up with jerks or saints. And if we’re lucky enough, we would find someone who are smart and descent, who treats us with love, honesty and respects.
It’s our own choice.