No, it’s not an album from Poison, but it’s literally the “O” moment (in Indonesian, when somebody gets confused then finally understands, s/he would say “Oooo”), or “Aah” moment.
Up to date, I never understand why some men choose to be with girls who are totally opposite from them. Not physically, I’m not a discriminative, racist person, but more in a quality kind of way.
Let’s admit that Jakarta is a crazy, strange, city. This is the city where gambling is banned but prostitution is open everywhere. This is the city where raid is conducted at bars and clubs which sell alcohol, while you could buy illegal drugs off of the street stall and having affair is permissible (all are reported in Jakarta Undercover book by Moammar Emka). Also, this is the city where we could see a sleazy old Caucasian guy holding hands with Indonesian girl who’s young enough to be his grand daughter (I actually had a friend whose friend – 80 years old – was dating 25 years old girl who was still in uni. Seriously!!).
So is it because Jakarta strange, weird, crazy enough, those Caucasians then date girls who are strange, weird and crazy?
We have a friend who’s been dating this girl, whom he met in a bar. It’s not a sleazy bar in Kota, but it’s not a bar free of KFC either (KFC = chicken or prostitute!). Luckily enough she dresses quite normal and decent, however, she barely can speak English (and the guy couldn’t speak Indonesian at all either). Up until this time, none of us really know what she does (or did) for a living, because after dating for a few months, she’s moved to the boyfriend’s house and is acting as the first lady and is not working, and when asked, she always gives different answer in different times (insurance agent, property broker, etc.). Actually she once advised my friend to start dating a bule (Caucasian) guy because “He’ll pay for everything, and you get to see Bali”. My friend was polite enough just to nod but she couldn’t wait to tell us in no time.
Let’s set aside her past, she is taking care of our friend and the house nicely, she’s not cheating around, she’s polite and proper, but how they communicate to each other, we can never guess. I mean, the guy, a finance director for a multinational company, must come home after work to find…. a mute girlfriend who’s able to serve dinner but can’t listen to his story for the day. Well, maybe they don’t need to talk at all. Maybe they talk in ‘body’ language. I happened to visit them in their house for a couple of time, and each time they never said anything to each other. She’s busy serving us with snacks and drinks, and talking to her Indonesian friends (who barely can speak English either but are very flirty to all guys), and he’s busy being a host, talking to everyone else.
At that particular party on Saturday night, I met another finance director for a large consumer goods company. This French guy, arrived after 9.00 PM, joined us for the late BBQ, where he asked my friend’s girlfriend to leave some steak for his girlfriend because she just finished working and would catch us up soon. Being an nonjudgmental person (haha) I thought she must be working very hard on Saturday (because we finished dinner almost midnight and she hadn’t turned up), so I guess she must be a 1)policewoman, 2)hotel staff, 3)waitress, 4)singer/dancer/movie actress, 5) another finance director who’s busy filing a report to regional office (doubt it, even those two finance directors were having BBQ!). When she arrived, she’s not wearing uniform of police squad, or black suits hotel staffs usually wear. So it’s either number 3, 4, or 5. Like my friend’s girlfriend, she barely said anything (maybe too hungry), while the guy was busy talking to everyone else. I actually once asked her “Could you pass the wine, please?” and she just stared at me blankly, and worse, the other girl (the hostess’s friend) who was sitting next to me did the same, so I must stood up and took the bottle myself. Which part of my question they didn’t understand, I have no idea.
My friend who is a real property broker always tells me a story about the guy who is looking for a house to reside, and bringing the girl with him. There was this guy who’d been in Indonesia for two weeks and was looking at houses with a girl, and this girl, confident enough, told my friend that they are looking for a house with many bedrooms because she wants to have 4 kids. Another time the girl complained a lot about the house conditions and told my friend rudely that she wants a ‘modern-minimalist house’, and ‘if you couldn’t show me those kind of houses, why would we waste our time talking to you?’ until my friend harshly told her that with his budget, this is the kind of house he could afford and she should ask him if he would spend USD 5,000 per month rather than 1,500…. she stopped complaining afterward, but my friend suspected it’s more because she couldn’t work out how much USD 5,000 in Indonesian Rupiahs.
Then there’s a story of my friend’s boss. At a very young age, he suddenly died. Divorced with two children who are living in Australia, in Indonesia he’d been living with a girl who is an ex.chicken. He was stupid enough to buy an apartment under her name, but in his will he said that he gave the apartment to his kids. Of course now she refuses to leave the apartment, because legally, that’s her. While the company still continues to pay the operation cost, the maid informed his secretary that the house is used for parties every single night, and is fulled with… well, women. What did this guy think at the first place?? He’s smart enough to be a CEO, but dumb enough to pick up a girl like that. PS: rumor said she’s seeing two other guys as well while was living with him.
With those above stories I have seen and heard almost everyday, I couldn’t help but wonder, if guys go back to their home countries, bringing girlfriends who are slutty enough to be able to pull a slutty dress off in a broad daylight, smart enough only to nod or smile or say thank you, young enough to be their daughters or worse, grand daughter, or simply has no manner, wouldn’t their family and friends say “Are you nuts?”
People say opposites attract. I say if it’s only physical, I still can understand. But I believe that a couple should be partners and free individual at the same time. At least a couple should be able to understand their partner’s thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears, goals, etc, and how could we do this without… talking? Or is it enough for guys just to have a wife or girlfriend who could serve at dinner table and in bed, and nothing else matters?
So until I get the answer about this, I wouldn’t be able to open up and say: “Aaah…. begitu!”
Guys, if you have answers, please let me know!
PS: I know I’m being bitchy here, but I feel itchy!!