Certain Friendships Don’t Last Forever (1)

I just discovered that my best friend has been avoiding me lately.

I started asking myself whether I’ve done something wrong to her. When I couldn’t find any, I sent her email, asking if she’s mad at me, and if yes, please explain why.

Back in 6 months ago or so, she’s started seeing a guy. A married guy.

They confessed it to me when the affair was just began. I was trying to be supportive. Not for the affair, because it’s wrong. But for her, because I believe she’s my friend and she needs me.

But gradually I noticed that they had no intention to stop.

They kept talking about ending the affair, but never did something serious about it. As the affair became deeper, I decided that this got to be stopped. Because she’s my friend and I don’t want to see her end up in tears and major broken heart. Because she’s my friend and I don’t want to hear people whispering behind her and calling her a mistress.

So we sat down at 11pm, and my another friend and I started pouring our feeling and thoughts to her. Basically we told her to stop the affair, get out before noones’ hurt, before people find out, before it ends with disaster.

She cried.

She also sent an email to both of us the next day, saying thank you. For reminding her of what she’s been doing. For sticking up with her and put up with her for better or worse.

But then she’s gone.

When I asked her why, she said because I had been trying hard to fix her up with any potential guy I know. She said that I should leave her alone, let her deal with it by herself.

I guess she had some point, so I stopped fixing her up. But she’s still away, still maintains her distance.

Up to the point where I know she is hiding new secrets.

So I guess our friendship ended when I discovered that she lied to me.

Friendships would last when we are honest to each other. Friendships would last when you can talk about anything openly, when you open your heart and soul and let your friend be your mirror, your inner guide, your strength pillar.

If you lie to your friend, then it’s not a friendship. Because it means you lie to yourself.

I consider myself lucky because I have got wonderful friends who stand by me all the way and never ever try to talk me up. They would tell me truth, even when it hurts. But at the end of the day, I would learn that the truth may hurt you, but it will safe you.

As for my so-called-friend, I wish her good luck. I hope she’d understand that I only do this because I care about her. And because, even until now, I consider her as a friend.

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  1. I agree with the title .. some friendships were just not meant to be forever. And seeing and an old old friend always brings back many memories, which for me memories are never bad. No matter how bitter the memories are, its always bring a smile when you think about it again. Dont you think so?

    Anyhow, like what people used to say, “There’s nothing that time cant heal”. I dont know with your case, but *again for me* time can heal almost anything 😀

    *i dont know the english term for this one, but in indonesia we have a phrase “Mengalah bukan berarti kalah”*

    ps : welcome to indonesia, enjoy your vacation

  2. I love reading your blog, I can relate to a lot of your stories and it’s been a while since I read a decent blog. Please don’t stop writing, I reckon you should try to publish some of your work if you haven’t already.


  3. Nit,
    Love your new blog’s design.
    It’s been 7 years since you wrote this. I didn’t and won’t agree or accept any affair. That’s why she shut her mouth from the beginning. Hope she lives happily ever after.


  1. […] later I bumped into her and her lover again, and the incident inspired the same post, part 2. Read Certain Friendships Don’t Last Forever Part 1 and Part […]

  2. […] been 5 years, can you believe it? I’ve been blogging for 5 years. My first posting, Certain Friendships Don’t Last Forever (1), was published in April 9th, 2005. A lot has had happened ever since. And I am glad I am still here […]

  3. […] first posting back in April 2005 was about her. About them. Back then she and I were joined at the hips and best […]

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