I just discovered that my best friend has been avoiding me lately.
I started asking myself whether I’ve done something wrong to her. When I couldn’t find any, I sent her email, asking if she’s mad at me, and if yes, please explain why.
Back in 6 months ago or so, she’s started seeing a guy. A married guy.
They confessed it to me when the affair was just began. I was trying to be supportive. Not for the affair, because it’s wrong. But for her, because I believe she’s my friend and she needs me.
But gradually I noticed that they had no intention to stop.
They kept talking about ending the affair, but never did something serious about it. As the affair became deeper, I decided that this got to be stopped. Because she’s my friend and I don’t want to see her end up in tears and major broken heart. Because she’s my friend and I don’t want to hear people whispering behind her and calling her a mistress.
So we sat down at 11pm, and my another friend and I started pouring our feeling and thoughts to her. Basically we told her to stop the affair, get out before noones’ hurt, before people find out, before it ends with disaster.
She also sent an email to both of us the next day, saying thank you. For reminding her of what she’s been doing. For sticking up with her and put up with her for better or worse.
But then she’s gone.
When I asked her why, she said because I had been trying hard to fix her up with any potential guy I know. She said that I should leave her alone, let her deal with it by herself.
I guess she had some point, so I stopped fixing her up. But she’s still away, still maintains her distance.
Up to the point where I know she is hiding new secrets.
So I guess our friendship ended when I discovered that she lied to me.
Friendships would last when we are honest to each other. Friendships would last when you can talk about anything openly, when you open your heart and soul and let your friend be your mirror, your inner guide, your strength pillar.
If you lie to your friend, then it’s not a friendship. Because it means you lie to yourself.
I consider myself lucky because I have got wonderful friends who stand by me all the way and never ever try to talk me up. They would tell me truth, even when it hurts. But at the end of the day, I would learn that the truth may hurt you, but it will safe you.
As for my so-called-friend, I wish her good luck. I hope she’d understand that I only do this because I care about her. And because, even until now, I consider her as a friend.
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