Ever read Between Boyfriends? Cindy Chupack wrote wonderfully about the situation of being single – again! – after having a (so-called) relationship and/or a boyfriend. It’s funny, witty, hilarious book that will make you either a) keep on hoping to find Mr.Right by trying to avoid mistakes she’s made, or b) give up entirely and think that men – in general – are bastards.
But what does constitute “OVER”? When one party said it’s over, is it really over, even though the other party doesn’t agree with it? Is it over when you heart stops skipping a bit when he walks into the room? Is it over when he doesn’t call for more than 3 days and she doesn’t bother to ask why?
Men are not good at breaking up tactics. They hate to see tears, begs, yellings, and confrontations. Hence, they would hide in their cave, simply being unavailable, and pray that we – miraculously – will forget that we ever had a boyfriend. Or they would cause a scene, start accusing their girlfriends of being needy, clingy, demanding, and controlling, so that WE would break up with them. There are rare cases when we could sit them down and have a civilized talk about breaking up and decision to be just friends.
But then is it really over after that? Even when we say that it is finished as of today, do we really forget about them entirely the next days? Ever thought about him again when you smell the same perfume he usually wears? Ever cried over a stupid song because that’s simply a song you’ve heard when he said that you have beautiful smile? Ever tried to avoid the whole shopping mall or restaurant because they’re haunted by memories?
Is it really over if you still think about him?
Cindy has a very interesting definition about it (read the book!). But to me, I guess it’s really over when you basically don’t care about what’s in the past anymore. It’s really over when you can’t be shaken up with memories about you and him. It’s over when you could talk about the relationship or him without feeling the pain, heart wrenching sorrow, anymore.
To me, it’s really over when I could speak to him again without having the urge to a) kick him in the nuts or b) show off that I’ve got a better, newer version, of him.
It’s really over when I don’t feel anything at all. It’s really over when what’s left is nothing. He’s back to the society, civilization, as a human being, not my eternal enemy.
“so many tears i’ve cried
so much pain inside
but baby it ain’t over ’til it’s over” ~Lenny Kravitz~
My friend is still dealing with it. I’m still dealing with her breakup misery. She’s called me when I was in UK, sobbing, announcing the news about the break up. It was a month ago. They went out for 2 months.
I’m still waiting for her to send him back to the civilization.
I’m sensing it’s gonna be longer than I thought.
I need to buy her Cindy’s book and sending her Sex And The City DVDs…………………
Read more: It’ Ain’t Over Til It’s Over (2)