Let’s Talk About Breasts

It started with late night discussions with Treespotter, although I don’t remember how we came up with the idea because usually we talk about politics, poverty, or world peace. All I remember is we have to post one entry together at the same time, and we agree to post something about breasts, but we haven’t been able to synchronize our schedules and the draft has been in my draft box for a couple of weeks, and I kind of forgot it, until…

… A friend circulated a photo of our friend who is suspected underwent a breast surgery to several of us, all girls, and soon everybody had something to say about her, or her breasts.

So I guess I’d just post what I think then.

I am never quite sure why men are so fascinated by women’s breasts. No, not fascinated, more hypnotised. We go out and see girls with their plunging neckline tops, showing just a little bit of cleavage, and all men’s heads turn 360 degree just to peek at those views. The lower the neckline the longer time men take to stare at the pair hidden underneath the top.

But actually we don’t even need to work hard to show them. Have them all covered and men still stare at them, especially when we wear tight tops.  Or have a tiny part of them incidentally peeping out when we wear buttoned-up shirt and the gap between buttons spread and show the center of the bra, especially from the side view, and men still crane their necks to get a peek (this was a constant argument  between me and jealous boyfriend(s) in college and I had to always have the safety pin tagged between buttons and this was probably the only time I ever wished to have smaller breasts!). Or, if they spy even the slightest hint of nipple, regardless of the fullness of flesh of the surrounding neighborhood, they’re happy as clams (I remember all my friends went crazy over Jennifer Aniston in Friends, and if girls went crazy about her hairstyle, men did because she always seemed to forget to wear bra which cover her nipples, even when she wore a jumper). The point is, whether we hide or show our breasts, men still stare.

I asked several guys why they always act like it is the first time they see a pair of breasts, ever, in every situation possible. Their answer is simple, because they just do.

Actually, the answer to this question is almost unbelievably simple; We like them because they are there, and we don’t have them. Not to say that we want to have breasts of our own, so much as we just have this uncontrollable urge to fondle yours.

But perhaps men don’t realise that women are as obsessed as men about breasts., although not up to the state of wanting to fondle stranger’s breasts. But yes, we are obsessed with our own breasts and also with others women’s breasts. We frequently compare ourselves with other women and wonder if our breasts measure up – literally – because our culture in general has created such a fixation on women’s breasts that a large portion of women’s sexual identity is founded in their breasts.  If we see a woman walking by with a nice pair of breasts, we instantly wonder – either innocently or with a little bit of jealousy – whether they are real or fake, or whether she’s got that nice bra from La Perla that makes her breasts look perkier.

We are also obsessed with them because we can dress them up with millions of choices of bra models, colors, materials, and brands. Not to mention nipple rings, or bra jewelry. And of course, we use our breasts for personal gain, like showing excessive cleavage to get served faster, or better yet, free drinks, at bars.

Even though we like to tease men’s imagination by showing a bit of cleavage, I don’t think  anyone wishes to be referred  to as just a pair of boobs. A friend went to my wedding wearing very daring dress that drew everybody’s attention to her breasts, and soon after that when people talk about her, they indicate her by holding their hands in front of their chests about half meter away in form of cups, indicating her large breasts, and say something like, “Hey, where is your friend?” (hands signal). I find their gesture annoying and childish because to me she is more than just a pair of boobs, she is sweet, and funny, not to mention gorgeous; but  men now fail to see all those qualities because their eyes and mind will be forever fixed on her boobs. So the challenge would be showing the cleavage without spill the imagination, being sexy without being the sex object, tasteful but teasing, more Scarlett Johannson and less Pamela Anderson. Damn, it’s hard to be a woman!

My friend’s forwarded photo still gets comment from us after 2 days. The girl-with-fake-breasts in the picture has been our topic since probably 2 years a go when her tops suddenly became too tight and her cups went from A to – I’m not sure but I suspect – E.  We talk endlessly about how different they look now (we compare before and after photo), how they feel if we touch them (since none of us has fake boobs), whether the surgery hurt, where she had it, how much it cost, and what they will look like when she is wrinkly and old. We even scrutinize all pictures of hers, trying to find some evidence which show her boobs are indeed fake. We also asked the ex boyfriend to dish us some dirty secrets (and as a perfect gentleman, he refused to reveal anything).

She is one of the example of growing number of Indonesian women who spend more and more money on breast implants, breast enlargement pills or creams, silly equipment, and other cosmetic procedures to increase the size of their breasts. It’s because many of us think that larger breasts will give us a sense of empowerment and boost up our sexiness and confidence.

Well, most of the times when the-girl-with-fake-boobs wears non-existent top, she draws attention from both men and women (men wanting to touch them, and women wanting to scratch them, haha!). But, as cliche as it sounds, the new inflated boobs doesn’t fix her insecurity and doesn’t give her empowerment she is longing for. In other words, it doesn’t change her character and personality. She is still single (and moaning about being single), floating from one bar to another, hopping from one city to the next, looking for Mr. Right. She has tons of Mr. Right Now, but hasn’t been successful of finding a guy who wants to see her beyond her breasts. On the other hand, like I pointed out to my friends, at least two of them are happy-flat-chested girls. They still get tons of male’s attention despite their cup sizes. They’re happily admit they have small breasts, and although they wish to have bigger boobs, they don’t plan to having them enlarged. They still wear low neckline tops, proudly parading their assets.

So what’s the whole point of talking about this?

No point, really. Didn’t I just say that we are as obsessed as men if it comes to breasts? I guess the lengthy post is a proof.











  1. Hi Anita, this is off topic, I tried to send you an email a few minutes ago but it bounced back [I used your contact at the top] :( I would really like to send it to you is there another way? Thank you I’d appreciate it!

  2. Tess: sorry, the email doesn’t work now. You could send it to finallywoken.blog@gmail.com. Cheers

  3. Just sent it to you *thank you!* :)

  4. Ha.ha.. yes, we are as obsessed as men when it comes to breasts. Funny though that once women start breastfeeding, we stop associating breasts with our sexuality (like, gross?).

    katadias last blog post..Andra on Death

  5. I’m with Katadia. After breastfeeding, I don’t care about my boobies anymore heheheheh

    santi ds last blog post..My Little Girl’s First Time Shopping in Munich

  6. Exactly! women are just as obsessed as men LOL… i know sometimes when i see a woman with a pair of well-formed breasts i go, wow… i wish mine are like theirs

    Ivys last blog post..Every Little Girl’s Dreamland – Sanrio Puroland

  7. I’m obsess with boobies too, can’t help it.. even though I already have it.. just can’t get enough of it LOL

    Eckys last blog post..About me…

  8. Katadia & Santi: really? Just yours or in general?

    Ivy: yeah like in between ‘wish mine are like theirs’ and ‘bloody hell it’s 5 degrees here and she’s parading those things like a slut’ and ‘stop looking at her’, LOL.

    Ecky: I know, we’ve got looooots of pictures to proof your… err… obsession LOL.

  9. Not all men are fascinated by breasts! This is in spite of my most recent post 😀

    Besides, when I go to KFC I always order “paha atas”. So, does that make me a “thigh man”?

    Just asking.

    Robs last blog post..Bali and Bikinis

  10. same here, i never get the men’s obsession with breasts. it’s just a pair of lump meat. *sigh*

    the writers last blog post..Please don’t come……

  11. I know my man is obsessed with my breasts, but that’s not the point as it’s already made clear that most men are obsessed with them (breasts in general, not just mine!). But men are also divided into different categories; there are those that are into legs, or hair, or curves or whatever.

    For women who are born with huge breasts, they will always have attention from men – that is something most girls can’t change. Some even go to the extreme measures by going under the surgeon’s knife to get them reduced in size, because these women feel so uncomfortable having such large breasts and carrying them around resulting in back and neck ache.

    That’s why I will never understand how those Playboy bunnies do it. It does feel nice to have a flotation device attached to your body, but the weight of them must’ve been enough to topple you off your high heels.

    therrys last blog post..It’s Not About The Money

  12. Rob: so what are you, leg, bum, or neck guy?

    The Writer: because they don’t have them!

    Therry: British biggest breasts champion is M cup. Imagine that! Her BMI is 40…. and she complains there are three things in her relationship, her, her boyfriend, and her breasts who always stand between her and the boyfriend, literally… :)

  13. There are men who don’t really care about the size of the boobs themselves, but more to the size and/or color of the, ahem, nipples.

    Dinys last blog post..Weird Injuries

  14. Once my friend said that having big breasts is like having big tyre of a car: good to look at but not comfortable to have on. You see those sexy cars with big tyres, they are hard as hell when you ride them, not mentioning riding them in Jakarta, with the puddles and flood. Same with breasts, good to look at, but to own one, hmh…I don’t think I would want to.

    I remember at one time, I was shopping for a bra and all of a sudden my cup is A. I was a bit worried. It used to be B! That is the last place I want to lose fat from! But then, when I think about it, I just like my breast the way it is. It is not too eye catching, I have no problems jogging and moving around (must be tough jogging with a cup D!). So, cup B for me is fine, and for those with big breasts, you have to fight gravity twice compared to those with smaller size…HA!

    parvitas last blog post..It is just a tunnel, not a cave

  15. Diny: really? that’s odd….

    Parvita: I think D is ok, bigger than D must be a bit hard.You know the old joke about Dolly Parton’s bad teeth because her dentist can’t reach her teeth? 😛

  16. my bad for coming in here late – but uh… yes… women are positively more obsessed about breasts than men are.

    btw, i didn’t realize we’re allowed to use pictures? LOL

    treespotters last blog post..on Call for Breasts

  17. so, yeah. I’m a leg man, sort’a, but still find myself looking.
    Thing is, I had heard a terrible thing about implants, and can’t figure out why any woman would pass on personal pleasure instead of quantity.
    I had heard the nipple loses some sensitivity after surgery.
    That alone should stop most gals from the elective choice, I would think.
    However, other tan that, Treespotter is right about something else…
    Noticing will get one of three responses, but, s men, we probably shouldn’t even attempt conversation about anatomy structures, weights, leverages, cleavages, whatever.

    On the other hand, one more small note…
    And, I do publish my picture sometimes with the story line.
    I am one of those one in ten thousand men that got the cancer in the breast. (how embarrassing…they call them ‘breasts’ on men, too)
    It was after I got out of the military, so, the VA picked up the tab, but, they went in, grabbed the baddies (well, i ain’t gonna call them the ‘goodies’!) and sewed me back up, BUT as I am a man and the nipple is worthless decoration, I got to keep it.
    But, with a smile shaped scar underneath. HA!
    Ma was a double cut. (that’s what they did in te mid fifties) so, I probably came by mine honestly.

    I’de go on, except, there’s like so much story behind it all it would make another post.
    But, let it suffice, I loved my Ma. Good people lose parts and pieces, but, that doesn’t make them less a person.
    If you get ‘chopt’ for whatever reason, and lose it, there’s someone who can see past that.

    So, I reckon there’s really NO reason to get a ‘boob job’….

    bonemans last blog post..Get Well Trout. Dance for us Baby….

  18. Well, personally, as my comment to Treespotter, I never pay my attention to my boobs, the size or the look. Am happy with mine. I also don’t like to wear push up bra, feel that it’s not me.

    But as your two happy friend did, I always use my low v neck shirt, hahahha, feel more sexy with it.

    And even though I did breast feed my two daughters, I still got the compliment of my boobs 😀

    So, maybe that’s the main reason I didn’t put my attention to my boobs :-p

    Tere616s last blog post..Blog Action Day – Poverty is here in front us

  19. Touchy subject matter (Don’t mind if I do)
    I gave in and posted as well…..

    I know I’m going to hell…..

    Dilligafs last blog post..Bustin’ Out (Bekasi version)

  20. kutu loncat says:

    Honestly if we talk about breast it’s exactly same with men talking about their “Mr. P”. It’s all myth!! of whether Is its size does matter? Is it bigger is better? Is it sexy always correlated with size, shape, and so on…
    I read once why men tends to look breast as sexual attention and to my surprise it’s not always related at with sensuality or eroticism. It’s the comfort. Perhaps the same kind of feeling when baby are in their mother arms. NO matter what size, shape or any other thing, the sense of comfort, secure, warmth, that’s what men are looking for. Well at least it works for me :)

    But I’m not sure natural vs. silicone

    I prefer all natural 36B :)

  21. My husband is a breast man and I have a directive to leave them to him in my will if I should die before him. One thing we forget as women is to protect them…The right size bra, yearly mammograms (commonly referred in my country as the boob squish) and monthly self exams.

  22. Roberta: you’re absolutely right. But that could be in another post. Especially the right bra, not many girls realise they wear a wrong size!

  23. Kutuloncat: it’s not only the cup size, the shape itself would determine the sexiness, yes?

  24. Ross Campbell says:

    People say that a lady with big breasts and cleavage is not taken seriously by male colleagues at work. Well- I’m not sure – have you seen the film “Legally Blonde”,starring Reese Witherspoon which shows how a gorgeous busty blonde enrols in Harvard Law school and defies scorn and ridicule to become a distinguished Harvard graduate.

    Her fellow students and teachers initially laugh at her, this (supposedly dumb) sexy law student but she confounds them all when her talent for law shines through and they all finally come round to taking her seriously and it is then that her brains and talents rather than her body that the men and women are impressed with. She dazzles her professor with her ability so that he put her onto a high profile murder case.

    Later her professor tries to seduce her and shocked she decides to leave law school- but she is encouraged by a guy , a classmate of hers, to stay on and so she decides to return to complete her law studies.

    Soon she ends up on a defence team on a big murder case. Her professor leading the defence team is withdrawn from the case when they find out he was trying to seduce Reese and she takes his place as the main defence attorney . She then appears in the court in a low cut sexy form fitting dress with lots of cleavage and in a winning defence gets the wrongly accused defendant acquitted of the charge.

    AS this film shows things are changing. So men are increasingly having to change their attitudes to ladies like Reese because in the last 20 years there are more and more Reese’s in senior positions and men have got more used to the idea.


  25. What a wonderful article.
    Yes, we are simple creatures and we just like breasts. Yes a nipple sighting can be the high point of our day. Gee, an almost nipple sighting can be the high point of our day.
    None of this though excuses a disrespectful attitude to women. I adore women and I would hate to do anything that offends my breasted friends – although I’m sure my attention to your breasts sometimes does. I am learning and I am learning how to appreciate breasts without offence.
    Your article helps us understand what you think about what we think. I just love it.
    .-= Chris Curnow´s last blog ..Let’s talk about breasts =-.

  26. Im teaching English to a class of adult students and one of the female students who has a beautiful figure and big gorgeous breasts comes into class wearing tight skimpy tops and tight pants which emphazize her breasts and her figure. She often asks me over to her desk with a question. Shes friendly to me and comes up to my desk to ask something . Is she teasing me – she must know that it really turns me on. Or is she just being friendly -is she deliberatly trying to turn me on for fun- I don’t know why she dresses like that in my class. Ive been very helpful and nice to her with her English studies and this is how she repays me -sexually teasing me

  27. Why do some women dress sexy at work with push up bras , short skirts , skimpy tops , form fitting tops that emphasise their figures-? is it becuase they enjoy the attention from male co workers ? Im a man and i find it very distracting


  1. […] suggested I post about boobs today. Anita’s done one, Elyani also did one, Tree’s  gonna post his this evening. His exact words about […]

  2. […] have done mine which basically reveals that women are fascinated by our – and other women’s – breasts. But […]

  3. […] catch an early flight tomorrow for a weekend with the other ladies, parties, gossiping, shopping, talking about boobs, and stuff. Tree would have liked it (he starts the new trend, now everybody blogs about boobs […]

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