On Fitna, Bloggers vs. Hackers, and Computer Illiterate MPs

Fitna is a short film by Dutch parliamentarian Geert Wilders, which explores Qur’anic motivation for terrorism and Islam in the Netherlands (explanatory stolen from Wikipedia). On April 7, Indonesia has blocked access to YouTube and a couple of other websites such as MySpace and Multiply. The Minister of Information and Communications Muhammad Nuh has passed a bill that forces 146 ISP’s in Indonesia to block access to YouTube. Kompas has confirmed that the reason for the block is Youtube’s refusal to remove Fitna from their servers.

After a week of public debates and overwhelming protests, Nuh has apologised for ordering the blocking of Youtube, Multiply and a few other sites which host the video Fitna, and the virtual community in Indonesia can relax, sit back, and exhale for a while.

There is still one thing to be dealt with, though. A guy who is dubbed as a telemathics expert (and I just found out that telemathics is a science of communicating over long distances, from here), accused that bloggers and hackers are behind the defacement of official website of the Communications and Information Ministry, following the protest of the Information and Electronic Transaction Bill or Undang-undang Informasi dan Transaksi Elektronik (UU ITE) implementation. Having someone whose voice is valued by the President and couldn’t distinguish between bloggers (most of bloggers barely understand HTML anyway) and hackers is a big joke.

But isn’t our government a big joke anyhow?

I dug Bov’s Pandora box and found some old jokes. It’s in Indonesian, unfortunately. I believe it precisely describes that most of the people who are sitting in the government office are computer illiterate despite given expensive laptops to play with. Since most of the time they don’t understand what they are talking about – and have to rely on a professional’s advices, whose background is communication, and not IT – no wonder they scream louder and faster than they think.

Enjoy.

Anggota DPR: “Mba, laptopnya salah.”
Customer Service: “Salah gimana pak?”
Anggota DPR: “Laptopnya nggak mau hidup.”
CS: “Sudah tekan tombol power pak?”
Anggota DPR: “Tombol powernya sebelah mana mba?”

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Anggota DPR: “Mba, saya mau konek ke internet nggak bisa, kenapa ya?”
Customer service: “Nggak bisanya kenapa?”
Anggota DPR: “Saya ketik www.playboy.com <<>> , gambarnya nggak keluar.”
Customer service: “Pesan errornya apa pak?”
Anggota DPR: “Nggak ada pesan error, pokoknya saya ketik playboy.com di addressnya, nggak muncul gambar sama sekali.”
Customer service: “Bapak koneksi internetnya pakai apa, dial up, hotspot?”
Anggota DPR: “Pakai gambar yang ada tulisan e (maksudnya internet explorer).”
Customer service: “Maksudku, bapak langganan internetnya pakai ISP apa, lalu cara koneksi internetnya pakai dial-up atau hotspot, mungkin settingnya ada yang salah.”
Anggota DPR: “ISP itu apa sih mba?”
Customer service: “Wah ini sih 50 x 2 pak..”
Anggota DPR: “Apa tuh mba?”
Customer service: “CAPE’ DEH!!”

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Anggota DPR: “Mba’ saya ingin daftar account di yahoo.com kok nggak bisa ya?”
Customer service: “Nggak bisa kenapa pak?”
Anggota DPR: “Ada tulisan, paswort is nat long inof, suld bi mor ten 8 karakter” (password is not long enough, should be more than 8 characters)
Customer service: “Itu maksudnya, password bapak minimal 8 huruf.”
Anggota DPR: “Oooo…oke deh.., saya coba dulu.”
Anggota DPR: “Mba password minimal delapan huruf itu delapannya pakai angka 8 atau ejaan delapan?”
Customer service: “Maksudnya?”
Anggota DPR: “Saya suda tulis di kolom password minimal 8 huruf, tapi bingung mau tulis delapannya, pakai angka delapan atau ejaan huruf ‘delapan’.”
Customer service: “Ketik ini aja pak..C Spasi D.”
Anggota DPR: “Apa tuh?”
Customer service: “CAPE’ DEH !!!”

________________________________________

Anggota DPR: “Mba’ kalau muter film di laptop, gimana caranya ya?
CS: “Ada dvd playernya kan pak?”
Anggota DPR: “Sebelah mana tuh mba?”
CS: “Disamping kanan, pak. kalau di tekan tombolnya nanti, piringan discnya keluar.”
Anggota DPR: “Ooooo…. yang keluar itu, piringan disc ya? Udah patah tuh kemarin.”
CS: “Kok bisa patah?”
Anggota DPR: “Saya kira tempat buat naruh gelas minuman.”

________________________________________

Anggota DPR: “Komputer saya rasanya kena virus”
CS: “Virus apa tuh pak?”
Anggota DPR: “Kurang tahu juga, setiap mau cetak ke printer, selalu ada tulisan kennot fain printer.” (cannot find printer)
CS: “Itu mungkin salah setting pak.”
Anggota DPR: “Settingnya udah bener kok, kemarin aja bisa nyetak, tapi sekarang nggak bisa. Saya sudah tunjukkin printernya di depan laptop, tetap aja dia terus-terusan “searchng printer not found.” Kayanya webcamnya rusak, nggak bisa lihat printer.”
CS: “Mendadak laper nih Pak, ingin makan tape..”
Anggota DPR: “Lho..kok begitu?”
CS: “TAPE DEH !!!!”

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Anggota DPR: “Mba, kalau mau baca blognya si artist anu dimana ya?”
CS: “Bapak cari aja di google.”
Anggota DPR: “Tapi si artist anu nggak kerja di google kok mba, saya tahu persis.”
Capeeek deeehhh….. ……… …. !!!!

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So if FPI spokeman was throwing some tantrum (block the video, kill Wilders, sever ties with Dutch government), it’s more about a result of his frustration of not being able to operate his laptop, let alone to watch the video!

Have a good weekend everybody!

PS: before forming your own opinion, it’s best to see the video by yourself. Some who have watched it say it’s a matter of “how you perceive the film, which is relative and differs from one person to the next”. I personally can only watch the video for 2 seconds because it’s bloody lousy. Seriously. There’s also Almoufitnoun as the reaction of Fitna.

 

Comments

  1. hahahaha..those are good ‘jokes’ you put there Anita.

    OOT
    Tel you what, another ‘true joke’ from an NGO friend who had meeting with DPR. once in a public hearing, they distributed executive summary and ready to start the meeting.

    then one of ‘our representative’ firmly said:
    “wait up, i am offended. you want to have meeting with us. but you give us only executive summary. where is the legislative summary?

    many almost couldn’t hold their laugh but no one explained anything to him and they rather tried to continue the meeting. in the end of the meeting he asked for legislative summary again.

    can you believe that?

  2. yuki tobing says:

    I like the jokes, haha.

    I’ve written my opinion on Fitna two weeks ago. I’ve always been against those who disrespect religion and I feel sorry for all Muslims in the world, there is nothing to worry about from Fitna though, it’s just a tasteless work.

    Banning some websites (I heard, people can access those websites again yesterday) is just simply stupid. Look how Indonesian women who use Multiply to sell goods suffered. Look how the government didn’t know that we could still access those websites from anonymous proxy.

    It’s funny to see people are so worried about Fitna although they haven’t seen it, it’s funny to see how government quickly reacted to prevent people from having access to it. Most importantly, it’s funny to remember how books and films which, for instance, depicting Jesus Christ as married man and other stupid conspiracy theory on Christianity can be found easily in Indonesia and there was no single official reaction to condemn those “masterpieces”.

    I’m sorry if any of you offended.

  3. Is a violence movie indeed, however, the jokes are really entertaining, I can imagine the frustration of customer service. Great posting Anita. Have a wonderful weekend too with a glass of good wine there.

  4. I enjoyed your post.

    The good news is that the Geert W. hype seems to disappear and the Indonesian government offered apologies for blocking YouTube etc.

    The bad news is that jokes in Indonesian still are acabadabra to me (I badly need a speed course on Bahassa Indonesia).

  5. @yuki:

    I actually enjoyed reading Da Vinci Code even though I love Jesus, and I actually don’t mind if he did end up with Magdalene :P

    @Anita:

    Thanks for the jokes, I won’t be surprised if they’re actually inspired by real incidents mwakakka… bloody eejits.

  6. Andie Summerkiss says:

    The jokes are classic! And I seriously believed they actually happened, every one of them!

    We are having our governor election in a couple of days. A bunch of us have decided to not participate. Why? Everyone of them is hopeless. And it will annoy us less if we don’t have any expectation on them. So why bother?

  7. yuki tobing says:

    @therry:
    Well, the beginning part looks enjoyable though, but as I turned to later pages, I got sleepy, seriously.

  8. Finally Woken says:

    @M: ouch! Is it any wonder they don’t understand what executive summary is, considering many of them don’t even finish their high school, let alone to understand English?

    @Yuki: yeah, in Indonesian it’s called “kebakaran jenggot nggak jelas”. The Indonesian government behaves like 5 years-old child. And it’s disgraceful to see they think we’re not smart enough to distinguish between good and bad.

    @Toni: Barolo for you?

    @Colson: I could translate the jokes verbatim but it will loose the little essence. Maybe your daughter in law can help you with it?

    @Therry & Andie: I suspect the jokes did happen too. Sensible, smart people will find USD 2,000 laptop is too expensive especially when you can get a super duper one with less than that. And if they don’t even understand what ‘executive summary’ is, then how in the world we expect them to be able to operate a sophisticated laptop?

    @Yuki: shame. I did enjoy Da Vinci Code. And was v.excited to find lots of Mason buildings here.

  9. @Finally woken:

    USD 2000 laptops. Shite.

    That’s such a waste considering there are plenty of cheap ones that only cost 5 mill rupiah and can still work as good if one only wants to open Microsoft Word or play DVDs :P

    Or place their Starbucks coffee cups in the DVD-ROM. Hahahaha.

  10. Marc Neilson says:

    Hi Anita, wow great commentary on the whole Fitna issue. As someone who was here during the blocking of youtube (there went half my weekend haha), I was appalled at that heavy handed approach. I think your point of view on the whole issue is very balanced.
    Well done

  11. Finally Woken says:

    @Therry: exactly! Bloody eejit…

    @Marc: hello again, long time no see you! How’s the cat(s)? Yeah if you see the comments here and any other blogs or sites, no one actually thought it was worth to watch, and everybody doesn’t think it represents Islam in general and no one condones this. So why Indonesian government made such a fuss about it? Insecurity? Trying to steal the momentum? Or just because they can’t operate their laptop to watch it? The latest is my theory *wink.

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