Pure Thought: A Friend and A ‘Friend’

The title was taken from Ecky’s blog, but I’m not talking about her blog (you should read it yourself, it’s cool); I’m gonna try to explain what I have been feeling lately.

The rumour that I was about to move to another company started about a month ago, after I submitted my resignation letter. Since then I’ve got phone calls, especially from vendors and contractors, asking for confirmation. When it’s finally confirmed verbally, some have already congratulated me, wished me good luck with additional comment to not ‘forget’ about them, which can be translated: “please invite me if you have a tender open”….

But that’s fine, I know them when we’re doing business, our relationships are about business. So of course everything we do is inside the business frame. And that means, when they maintain a good relationship with me, they see me as a potential client, and I see them as my future preferred vendor. It’s always back to business.

But when I sent a formal letter to everyone, including my friends, letting them know that I resigned from my this company, I can’t believe that I open a Pandora Box!

Vendors, contractors, and business partners, since they’re the first ones to hear the rumour and got confirmed verbally, weren’t shocked. So most of them replied my email with standard ‘good luck, wish you success in the new workplace’ etc.etc. Some are being nice, inviting me to meet up sometimes, have wine and everything. Just being nice business partners.

But so-called friends, sent replies, usually contains two main points:

1) congratulations on your new jobs, and

2) any vacant position in your company for my wife/boyfriend/cousin/myself?

Some even went further by putting more details about their qualification and their expected position (and when they sent the emails, I hadn’t even started yet!).

I mean what’s up with that? I think the second point destroys the meaning of first point entirely. It makes me feel that they’re not sincere saying it, that the first one is only “basa-basi” and they didn’t really care about me at all and only think about themselves. I know that today is very difficult to find a good job and we have to maximize our network, utilize whatever we have got to achieve our goals, but can’t they wait for me to reply their emails, saying thank you for their ‘wish you good luck in your new workplace’ first, then send a second email trying to find out whether there’s an opening for them?

It makes me wonder whether they see me as a friend or ‘a friend’? Would they still be my friends if I’m jobless, powerless, or loose my other attributes?

Or maybe, I was wrong all along. Maybe they never thought that I was a friend!


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