To Make Friendship Works, You Have to Work It Out

There was something wrong between me and this girl. We have known each other for a year and between 5 of us, this girl is an enigma. My other girlfriends are easy, we have everything in common, we like and dislike the same thing, we have similar opinion about things in life, we have similar personality. What you see is what you get. I don’t say that we never have disagreement, but for 4 of us, disagreement is a natural thing, it’s not a big deal, and we’re pretty damn sure that we could work it out, and we’re always be friends.

But this girl is different. She keeps everything to herself. She never shares her thoughts and opinions about all kind of stuffs (come to think of that, it’s because I hardly see her in other places but lounge/pub/bar, and those places are not ideal to chat!). So I have no idea about her at all.

The other girls, who have known her longer than I do, try to make me understand about her. That she is unique. That she is a complicated person. Hence, I should be more understanding and accepting toward her behaviour.

I have tried. For over than a year I have tried.

But it doesn’t work.

Because it is one-sided work.

I tried to make it work. And she didn’t do anything to respond.

You see, what you need in friendships are basically trust and understanding. If there are no such things between you and your friends, the friendships would not work. Maybe it would, to a certain level. Like when you are happy and celebrate it, they would be there for you. But when you’re down and need someone to listen to your grief, certainly not!

And this girl and I failed on both departments. She doesn’t trust me. And I don’t understand her. We have such complicated friendships, even I am surprised we could stand each other for over a year.

When I had an argument with Melly, instead of trying to cool things down, this girl winded things up. I knew it for a fact, because when I talked about it openly to other girls, she sent me an email, but saying totally different things about what happened! Luckily Melly and I, although are equally feisty and stubborn, have a strong understanding about each other. So after 2 days of cold war, we’re friends again. But I was surprised to see what this girl has done to me. It’s like she’s happy we had an argument, and took the best advantage out of it.

It came on to me slowly. Many occasions later, I kept getting surprised from her or about her.

Then I decided, enough is enough. I mean, why I should stand in this silly friendships if we are both not happy? And it is indeed silly, because now I know, that she’s stopped considering me as a friend a long time ago…..

I don’t say that she’s a bad person. Maybe we’re not meant to be. Maybe our character are not match to each other. Maybe we see things differently. Maybe we are just not “clicked”.

And it happens. In life, friends come and go. Like natural selection, in time, you’d find that the ones who stick to you are your truly friends. The ones who would be there for you no matter what. The ones who even are far away, you know, that you could count on them.

And I’m blessed. Because I find good friends.

 

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