Toilet Conversations

Other than in our own bedrooms, the place that we could reveal the truth and reality is in the toilet. Only by how people take lines and turns, I can see whether they’re polite or rude (I was once having an argument with a very high-class lookalike lady who insisted she could go in first because her little daughter must go and so must she – well, everybody was always in a hurry, right?). If they rush to wash their hands even when I’m still standing before the wash basin and re-applying my make-up, I know that they’re not necessarily impolite, but just don’t really understand the concept of ‘private space’ (Asians tend to have smaller private space, so we usually talk and stand very closely to each other – just look how people queue everywhere here, while Westerners usually have larger private spaces).

But the conversations carried on in the rest room can actually reveal so much about ourselves. I don’t know why people think public toilet is actually a private room, while it’s full of strangers who can hear whatever you say and do.

There was one lady wearing a one-piece, glittery gray, with a very low neckline, dress who was washing her hands next to an African lady. I glanced at them briefly before entering cubicle, and once I was in, I can hear this glittery lady told the African one, with a very loud voice, about her bag hunting prior to the party. Here it is:

“I spent 7 hours, you know, to find a bag and shoes, with my man, for this party!”.
(Her African counterpart mumbled something).

“You know if you want to find a good bag, you go to plaza Indonesia”.

“Oh yeah? Did you buy your bag there?”

“No. But I saw a very good silver bag there, but it’s expensive!! Twenty millions and five hundreds!!”
“How much is that in US dollars?”

Oh, uh, twenty thousands. No, twenty five thousands dollars. Yes, yes. Very expensive.”
“Really???? USD 25,000 for a bag? Which shop is that?”

“Oh, it’s in Plaza Indonesia. The shop is Rotella! Yes, yes. But I didn’t buy it. I was looking for something else. I couldn’t find it in Plaza Indonesia, so I went to another mall, Ambassador mall, and then to Plaza Semanggi. But I was unlucky, I didn’t find a nice bag.”

I went out, and stood next to this loud lady and couldn’t conceal my smile. What’s funny from this conversation? Well, first, 20,000,000 rupiahs is not USD 25,000, the girl put too many zeros on the actual conversion, because it should be USD 2,200. It’s either she never has USD before, or just is plan incapable doing the maths. Secondly, she mentioned the shop: Rotella. There is a shop called Rotelli, which is a shoe shop and sells bags as well, but I’m sure they don’t sell USD2,200 bag, and Rotelli only has a small section in Sogo Dept.Store, not its own boutique in PI. And the third, which made me smile, is that she was looking for a bag in Ambassador mall and Plaza Semanggi. Those two are not in the same market as Plaza Indonesia. Plaza Indonesia is one of the most prestigious, upmarket, shopping mall. While the other two, are absolutely not. So I don’t know how she could position those three in the same basket and would like to get a USD 2,200 bag in Ambassador mall – which sells computers more and has no upmarket boutique there.

But my story was beaten by Tamara’s. She came back from the toilet, laughing. She overheard one lady mentioned to her friend, that she lives in two apartments, one in Puri Casablanca, and the other one is in Aston Rasuna. What made Tamara and all of us laughed was when the friend asked why does this lady need 2 apartments, and she answered, very casually, “because I have two boyfriends, so I split time between those two apartments.” Does one know about the other guy? One does, while the other doesn’t. Oh my, she must be in a very fit physical condition, having two ‘responsibilities’!

Another time I was re-applying my make up when these two girls with skimpy outfits doing the same thing. Suddenly, one shouted at her friend, “Are you crazy?? Are you stupid??”. I moved inches away from them, hoping they wouldn’t start boxing match. And from the mirror I saw her friend, getting annoyed, stopped applying her mascara, yelled back, “What?? What do you mean?”

And the rude lady, spraying a perfume on her cleavage, saying it out loud, “Why are you wearing your top so high? Take it down! You should show your boobs. You won’t get any man by wearing that, you know!”

But there was the time when it got too much, like when I entered the rest room in Grand Hyatt. Two ladies were holding one girl on shoulders and back, one was patting, one was caressing. This girl was crying, her voice could be heard before I entered the rest room, and she cried and cursed and yelled while her friends hopelessly tried to console her. I was startled because this very beautiful lady was dancing like crazy in Burgundy a few moments before. And now her mascara smeared on all over her eyes and face. “Whhhhhyyyy??? Huhhuhuhu….I’m tired!! I can’t take this anymore! He’s bastard! Whhhhyyyy???? Huhuhuhuhuhu….”

I looked at the friends through the mirror and they smiled uncomfortably to me.

Now guys always wonder why girls always go to toilet together. Here’s the answers: 1) We need to re-apply our make-up, and in case our friends bring nicer lipsticks, we could swap. 2) We are simply scared meeting those ladies who reveal too much!!

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