This particular woman drove me mad almost two years ago. Her twisted mind and even more twisted words were really upsetting, and I had to remind myself that she is married to someone I care about, to calm myself down.
That argument is never settled. I kept insisting that she was involved in a matter that was totally unrelated to her and she didn’t show a respect to me and my family. I told her to mind her own business and stop messing with people’s life, especially those whom she doesn’t know. She doesn’t even have my mobile number for God’s sake, she hadn’t seen me for years before this issue came up, so how could she think she could preach me about things she didn’t even understand? But when her replies came, they became more bizarre every time. She is not a type of person who has structured braincells and since I was too busy even to get some descent sleep, after replying 3 or 5 crazy text messages I decided to quit arguing. It was useless. I didn’t have time and energy, and I didn’t want to jump into her labyrinth of mind, where I couldn’t decipher where the reality ended and where the fantasy began.
But as far as I concern, my case with her was with her and to her only. What I didn’t expect was that the other two couldn’t see it as clearly as I did.
We were close back then, especially the first months when I was just back from Sydney and started working in Jakarta. The first one taught me how to ride a city bus and ojek, and I brought her a bottle of her favorite perfume when I landed. I sometimes took them for a meal (always settled the bills, something they never returned and thought it was normal and my ‘duty’). The second one begged me to help her when she was about to finish her study and needed a place for internship. I asked my boss and because it was me asking, he said yes, and she became an intern for several months. She got her first job through my colleague, and for a while I was proud of her.
But we have grown apart, which I think is normal. I am older then them, we lived miles apart, we circulated in totally different crowds and totally different social circles, so we hardly bumped into another. Everybody has their own life, so when we lost touch, I didn’t particularly pay attention to it. I have tried, but it was difficult since it was always a one-sided attempt. Since my last job sent me all over Asia, I didn’t have much spare time; and because they didn’t try to keep in touch either, they’re easy to be slipped out of my mind. Last contact was made when I was already in Scotland, when the first buzzed me through Yahoo! messenger and told me she was expecting a baby. I congratulated her, felt really happy for her because she told me beforehand that she really wanted to have one. Then a strange thing happened a while later. She wrote about her pregnancy experience in our communal blog, and I commented there, where I also told her that I just experienced a miscarriage, so I hoped she took a good care of herself and the baby. She never replied my comment, and although I wondered why (and kinda hoped she showed some attention), I decided that it wasn’t a big deal. Her posting strangely was her first and last.
There were other several small things which annoyed me, even before the argument arose (like when one of them left a comment on my Friendster blog and preached about how to be better – which was odd considering (without bragging) that I am much more than her in every aspect, and her comment was so annoying I decided to delete it), but I have managed to ignored them so far. Now I start wondering whether they decide not to like me anymore because I had an outdated argument with their family member, or because the whole family issue between her and the rest of everybody. It annoys me more because whatever issue I had with her, was between us. The other two were not involved. I never expected smart ladies like them let themselves dragged into this stupid issue. I never expected brilliant women like them cannot separate themselves apart and logically tell her that this is not their business. My patience is thinning fast.
The last issue really pissed me off, because I did it with a good intention, that no matter what they’re still my family, that I show my respect to them. I tried to show that my issue with her doesn’t bother my relationship with the rest of them. Alas, I found out that one of them made a fuss over nothing, that she didn’t look at beyond my good intention, that she didn’t realize how busy I am (she didn’t even care to say hi, let alone offers a help. Come to think about it, I don’t think she knows whether I’m in Scotland or Indonesia, that’s how attentive she is), that she only looked at herself. So I decided that this is the time to end it.
I wish I could be wiser and more patience. But life is complicated and I have other more important things and people to think about.
The book is closed. Enough.